Darby wishing everyone a Merry Christmas!

my life

I have decided to start writing a book. Whether it will be a novel or a biography, I do not know yet. I know that I have quite the life story. I have many stories that may help other people who are in the same situation as I have been.
I am going to open up an account on tumbler and start the book. Someone told me to just start journaling my life and then put it all together as a book. I think it would be great therapy for me.

so far, my bipolar has been in check. There are days when I feel the depression coming on but I am able to stop it in it's tracks. I don't know how I am doing it, but I am.

I have been physically ill lately, not related to my bipolar or depression. I had an asthma attack for the first time ever. I did not even know I had asthma. I thought it was just major bronchitis but I couldn't breath for the worst time. I went to the er and they told me that I had asthma. My chest is very congested right now and i can't stop coughing. of course, I haven't quit smoking. i will though. I have to.

December 10 Saturday

Today was a very unproductive day. I haven't been feeling well at all. I woke up yesterday with a sore throat and a lot of congestion. I always wonder how much of my physics ailments are due to my bipolar and how much are really physical illness? I do not yet know how to differentiate them. I slept most of the day and night and now, at 4 in the morning, I am awake and afraid to fall asleep because I have so much to do tomorrow. If I fall asleep, will I be able to get up and get things done like I need to or will I sleep the day away.

My bipolar seems to be running my life right now and I don't know how to manage it. I have been taking my meds diligently. They seem to be working but when I do get sick, like I said, is it the bipolar that is making me physically ill or am I really sick?

Life

I am so behind on my blog and on my happiness project. My plan was to do work in my bipolar workbook on a daily basis but I have gotten way behind. I am having a rough time lately. Life just seems to be overwhelming me right now. Everything is hitting me all at once. I just want to be a normal person with a normal life and normal problems.
I am just so tired all the time, not so much physically, but mentally there are days when I don't even feel like getting out of bed, let alone even waking up sometimes.
I believe that if it wasn't for my cats and how much I love them and how much they love me, I wouldn't be here right now.

Monday November 5th-to do

I am finally getting something done. Yesterday I organized my walk-in closet, although I still have  ways to go on the rest of the apartment.

Today I am going to get my other closet put together. I got rid of all my old shoes yesterday and clothes that I will never wear again-about 3 bags worth of clothes.

I am also going to get my bathroom cleaned up today. I will only allow myself to get on the computer when I get something done.

The closet is first, which could take me all day.

problems

I can't believe how many problems I am having today. It seems that just as things start going bette, something happens that just throws you completely off.

My finances are so bad, No landline, no internet. Thanks gosh for my awesome nigher. She just got wifi and it actually reaches to may apartment.
I need to get my cats there checkup but is  it't extra money that I can't don'l have.

I will figure out something cool

Thursday December 1

I have been working really hard on getting my bipolar under control I have been identifying any triggers I have for my depression and my mania. I have been able to stop them in their tracks.

I have also learned that I cannot have any sugar before i go to sleep or else I will wake up with a migraine.